Man Holding Hand
Three is a photo regulated and shared around FB on LGBT pages, it says " Why society prefer Man holding guns than man holding hands." and my Indian friends related with it. `Related' are they blind fold?
Isn't man holing hands a common sight in India,but not in west!
and this is what one foreigner has to say , " Two burly guys saunter down the street, their chest hair exposed, their faces scowling, their muscles bursting out of their one-size-too-small shirts. Everything about their appearance screams ‘I want to kill you with my bare fists and then have sex with lots of women’ – everything, that is, except for the fact that their hands are locked tightly together in an intimate embrace reminiscent of young lovers on the seashore"
In India Male holding man hand is not at all a taboo also unlike in west they are never stigmatized, still western people an their Indian urban ghulams always give creepy theories about why man hold hands in India.Indian guys are found of holding hands. When western visit they surely put it there blog. It's funny, weird and fascinating according to them. In there culture man do not hold hand until they are romantically involved.
Read this most biased but real post
http://www.stuffindianslike.com/2008/04/170-holding-hands.html
Why the hell Indians hold hand? They ask themselves and many put up this bizarre theory ''because of sexual repression of Indian man, they could not hold hand of girl so hold do best they can'' interesting enough many Indian say that it is in lower society and small cities not in urban and civilized part. Another theory among Indians themselves (if I dare call them Indian as they are blind folded slave of great west white masters) "they are unaware of stigma" truth may be but this is a screwed up analysis.
Holding hand has nothing to do with sex or sexuality in 'uncivilized' world. It is human nature to hold hand of his friend or relative irrespective of sex/sexuality. Holding hand is about relations. Romantic, bromantic, friends and all not just romance. Holding hand is natural not holding hand is cultural. Naturally man is inclined to hold hand of another person but due to culture one is stigmatized either way.holding hands are common human behavior nothing to do with sexuality. Establishing this the question like 'why Indian men hold hand' is stupid instead it should be 'why western men do not hold hand?'. Still they and there gandchatu Indian slave have given nonsense theories. 1st theory of sexual repression only seems logical to a fragile impotent mind unable to reproduce his own thoughts. Because even a slight examination of this theory clears that it is based on a screwed up analysis.
To say man hold hands as they can not hold hand of women is evidently wrong. Yes I believe that in traditional Indian society man holding hand of women is despised. But this only strengthen the view that is is 'non holding' of hands which needs speculations not the common natural thing man holding hand or holding hand in general. In India love was a taboo, but if it was only conditional then why boys or child hold hand? Or why married friends hold hand? This theory works on a logic that western society is ideal, natural. Since men holding hand is not common in west or north american they see all straight men hand holding as aberration. Since they do not see man-man intimacy apart from romantic association, they assume that it is common across he world. Well, Men hold hand in many other culture too, in south east Asia,china and in tribal culture where sexual liberalism is high. So this theory is stupid and works on same logic which once dictated man-man sex un natural. The thing is holding hand has nothing to do with sex or sexuality, like child hold hands without any sex/sexuality consideration. Instead not holding hand has deep sex, moral and stigma playing behind.
since both nonsense theory are thrown and it is established that hand holding is human behavior nothing to do with sex and sexuality, the question why men hold hand in India? Is as meaningless as existence of god. Instead the question should be about why men do not hold hand in west? And why men-women not in India? The later's answer is love taboo in India which is slowly vanishing as me can see bf-gf hand in hand and the former's answer is obvious but it is not seen to be lessening, instead it is being imported here in India none other than our 'om namo westernization' group. Although I'm grateful that this new wave of sexual liberty has entered through west. But it also brought up western stereotype and has produced deadly combo of east hypocrisy-west stereotype in urban educated people. I want to hold hand of my friend, boyfriend and brothers and let my sex/sexuality remain out of this as it is today in India. India is changing, sad urban Indian follow anything west as. But is west also ready to change?
Why not hold hands?
Holding hands if so natural then why in west men do not hold hands? and in India why not man-woman hold hands? they say that because men in West are conscious of their sexuality or better to say insecure. the stigma is very much prevalent and no one wants other to think they are gay unless they actually are. This of course has a stereotypical view behind that hand holding is romantic or even erotic. this explains a lot but still something is missing. two girls are seen holding hands and stigma is not strong there. So something else is also playing here and that is idea of manhood as like possession. Common belief is that gays are not manly or lack muscularity. The men insecurity about his manhood plays vital role here while girls continue to have intimate relationship. two girls hand in hand are not called manly in fact hand holding itself is deemed girly. Hand Holding with assumed association to girls and gay make western men avoid hand holding . The situation in India is different. In India while Men hold hand, Hand holding among man-woman is not liked. This also seems to have something to with romantic assumption of hand holding. But this again is not a complete picture. If in India hand holding was romantic then men hand holding would have been a greater taboo, which it is not. So here an universal myth that 'A man and a woman can not be friends' is working, also it has been fueled up with the hypocritical eastern mentality which fails to see man-woman relationship apart from blood/sex. In brief, the main reason for not hand holding is it's imagined romantic/ erotic association, and different taboo/dislike of romantic/erotic relationship in different culture is thus reflected in Hand Holding.
The stereotype import
This is really worrying that in modern Indian urban society men holding hands are now a rare sight. It's even despised. The reason for this can be increasing awareness of homosexuality among urban masses, but I do not think so. Girls in India are not unlike for their hand holding. The non-urban area homosexuality is not associated with feminine guys instead with truck drivers and pathans. 'Teri gand mar lunga', 'aa chuppa de', 'aaj chikne ko chodunga', 'chal aaja mar le meri aur age barh', 'ab kya gand maroge?' like sentences are found among gundas and bhaiyas. Men in Urban India are just Importing western stereotype. That the women still can hold hand while men can not, just like in west proves this. Even mixed with eastern hypocrisy, which helps them to blind fold their thoughts from self evident perceptible truths, they are an interesting hybrid. Once an English entrepreneur (stationed in south east) said, 'east is very good in copying, good labors but they are unable to produce any original thoughts'. I've no wonder accepting his thoughts as he was seeing our urban, educated and civilized eastern guys. In India, the civil engineers and all just prove his point. BT- brinjal is just another example. We see west developed, so anything in west is seen ideal. We forget to see that development in west is not by Infrastructure or orthodox western culture but it came with, universalism, liberalism and socialism. They are trying there best (the intellectual west) to eliminate the stereotype present in western society, but in educated Indian society there is a tendency to idolize west and import any such cheap thoughts.
The Optimist me
I've a hope, not with our 'om namo westernization' Indians who think nothing in west can go wrong, but from west itself. The society there is growing more secular, socialist and developing a sense of communism and tolerance. Being in a secular socialist republic nation these are the things I like. Our educated urban thought slave if keep on following their white master will surely come to this too. I just hope that, if eastern hypocrisy do not play then even our urban Indians while following their western ideals who are shedding stereotype, will also shed their's.
Appendix
I also never liked some LGBT actions. They kinda promote many natural human thing as exclusively to gays. On the line of west. Mature activist like kavi, vanita, kidwai, bandhoppadhya do work on Indian context. It is the amateur activist who kind of piss me off. They do what biologist did with bt brinjal and its result will also be similar. It does not take a deep research but a common sense and open mind. Nobody worship Thor in India, so abusing him will not cause blasphemy. So things will work when done in context or either they will in neglected or worst worsening the situation. I somehow feel sexual communalism is inevitable, I try to remain secular.
