It's been 4 years since I first met her. There has been a lot of changes in her. The biggest change in her is not social or sexual, which people can easily perceive but something much internal.
She met me with a different identity, a different name. She was childish, as 'innocent' as her name was, with 'love seeking' attitude typical of chick flick movie enthusiasts. She, I used to think, dreamt of her Prince Charming on a horse or something.
When I met her, she was a shy person. She used another fake id on facebook to tell me that she liked me. It did not take much time to figure out what was happening. I did not make it a big deal.
For me, she was a shy person, confused and dwelling in dreams. I was not mature enough myself to understand what goes inside a person's heart.
We remain in contact for years before she revealed her secret, which I've already figured out long back. She told me that it was her biggest change. I disagreed.
She wanted to drop out college. I advised against it but she dropped out. She changed her surname from Pandey to Singh for her 'partner', my castist subconscious made me feel anxious. She came out to her parents, to her leftover friends, and to everyone.
But the biggest change in her is a lack of poker faces that she had put on her successively for many years. She is living her true self. She is bold, outspoken and loved by people who actually matter.
Realization of self is considered enlightenment in India. The LGBT people are in much better position than other spiritually, better but still harder.
There can be many transformations by changing physical or social appearance. But the transformation that matters is the refusal to transform for outer conformity with appropriations.
What happened to Siddharth when he sat under that tree, what happened to Maruti Anjaniputra when he stood on the seashore or to Shakar Govindpada when his leg got caught by a crocodile is what happens to people when they come out. An epiphany, a realization ... to say spiritually, enlightenment.
It may be a small step, but it is in the same direction. Enlightenment may be a huge thing to be compared with but the change in person, what transforms him into a sage, a buddha, a jinna or a god is also centered on self. The change is evident unless you are too fixated on outer appearance.
People sang for centuries about the enlightenment of Gautam Siddhartha, Krishna Devikiputra, Lakulisha, Shankar Govindapada. They will sing for decades about our own Sid, Kanaihya, Sambhu and all who have realized their true self and are living as it is.
